Funeral Practices Guidelines
Jewish tradition teaches that “the grave levels all distinctions.” Recognizing that all are equal in death is a consistent principle across the spectrum of Jewish movements. Our tradition urges that funerals be of utmost simplicity.
The Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island recognizes and acknowledges the invaluable services rendered by funeral directors. We are grateful for our partnership with these licensed professionals who specialize in supporting bereaved families, making arrangements for services and burial, and meeting legal requirements. We could not do our work without their partnership. They allow us to fulfill our duty as comforters of mourners, conveners and leaders of religious services, authorities on Jewish tradition and practice, and as representatives of the Jewish community.
We recognize that funeral directors are service providers who work to meet the needs and requests of bereaved families. This is as it should be. However, funeral and mourning practices must also be bound by the many demands of Jewish law and custom. This document is intended to provide guidance for funeral directors, bereaved families, synagogue lay leaders, and for ourselves as rabbis, in the conduct of mourning practices and funeral services.
We ask that all involved in providing funeral services observe these parameters based on Jewish tradition:
Judaism stresses the sanctity of human life and the dignity of the human body even in death. We, members of the Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island, reaffirm our community’s commitment to those funeral practices which reflect the sacred simplicity of our teachings concerning death.
Respectfully,
THE BOARD OF RABBIS OF GREATER RHODE ISLAND
The Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island recognizes and acknowledges the invaluable services rendered by funeral directors. We are grateful for our partnership with these licensed professionals who specialize in supporting bereaved families, making arrangements for services and burial, and meeting legal requirements. We could not do our work without their partnership. They allow us to fulfill our duty as comforters of mourners, conveners and leaders of religious services, authorities on Jewish tradition and practice, and as representatives of the Jewish community.
We recognize that funeral directors are service providers who work to meet the needs and requests of bereaved families. This is as it should be. However, funeral and mourning practices must also be bound by the many demands of Jewish law and custom. This document is intended to provide guidance for funeral directors, bereaved families, synagogue lay leaders, and for ourselves as rabbis, in the conduct of mourning practices and funeral services.
We ask that all involved in providing funeral services observe these parameters based on Jewish tradition:
- When a death occurs, families should consult the officiating rabbi as soon as possible for advice and guidance regarding preparatory rituals, the funeral itself, and mourning practices. Responsibility for all rituals rests with the officiating rabbi.
- Funerals should be scheduled for a permissible day and time as soon after death as possible, generally within three days. No service time should be set or announced until it is approved by the officiating rabbi.
- We encourage the use of a wooden casket, and, when possible, one that has been certified and approved by a recognized rabbinic council. We strongly discourage the use of metal vaults. Concrete liners, required by most cemeteries, should be simple and unadorned. We also strongly urge that families request the burial association (known as the Chevra Kadisha, literally “The Holy Society”) to perform taharah, the ritual preparation of the body and that the body be dressed only in tachrichim (also called tachrichin), the traditional burial shroud. This is Judaism’s way of showing respect, dignity and compassion to the body of the deceased. The simplicity of burial in wooden caskets and linen shrouds is a sign of humility and a reminder that, rich or poor, all are equal in death.
- The practice of cremation is contrary to traditional Jewish law. We urge families to consult with a rabbi before making the choice to cremate. Cremated remains are not permitted in the funeral home or most synagogues. Some rabbis will refuse to officiate at a burial service with cremated remains.
- Jewish tradition regards the public display of a dead body as an offense to the dead. Public viewing of the body is not permitted. Private viewing of the body can only occur in the funeral home and must be concluded well in advance of the arrival of other funeral attendees.
- Jewish tradition urges, “Do not try to comfort your friend when his dead lies before him.” (Pirke Avot 4:18). We recommend that family rooms be closed prior to the service in order to protect the deserved privacy of the bereaved. As we recognize that this is a delicate and personal matter, we defer in this matter to the wishes of the family with the guidance of the officiating rabbi when services are held at the funeral home. When necessary, the reception line will be cut off to assure that funeral services can begin on time. Many congregations do not permit open visitation before the funeral service; those customs and policies will prevail when services are in their synagogues.
- Because of the emphasis on simplicity in Jewish funeral practices, it is a tradition not to give or display flowers at the funeral service, in the cemetery, or at shiva. The display of flowers at synagogue funerals is subject to the approval of the rabbi. In lieu of flowers, family and friends may contribute to worthy charities in memory of the deceased.
- It is traditional for the family and friends attending a Jewish burial service to participate in the mitzvah of the burying of the dead. We request that shovels and loose earth be present at the graveside for the fulfillment of this mitzvah. We recognize that some families will request that they not be present for the fulfillment of the mitzvah. In all cases, however, equipment and materials for the speedy completion of burial should be ready at the completion of the burial service.
- It is a Jewish tradition for mourners to partake in a simple “meal of consolation” upon their return from the burial. Relatives and friends should provide this meal. Funeral directors are able to make arrangements for the meal with kosher catering services if needed. Mourners should not consider themselves hosts who serve their visitors during the meal of consolation or during shiva. Rather, it is the community of friends and family that is the host of the mourners.
- The Board of Rabbis has set an honorarium for rabbinic officiation at funerals of $500. The rabbi may also charge travel costs for services outside of Rhode Island. The purpose of the set honorarium is to ensure that rabbis are appropriately remunerated for their work, especially those rabbis who depend upon income from lifecycle rituals for their livelihood. In the case of rabbis officiating for members of the congregations they serve, or for members’ parents or children, the honorarium is waived if this is the policy of the congregation. Rabbis also may choose to waive the honorarium in cases of the family’s financial hardship. Honorarium fees are subject to adjustments from time to time and will be listed accordingly.
Judaism stresses the sanctity of human life and the dignity of the human body even in death. We, members of the Board of Rabbis of Greater Rhode Island, reaffirm our community’s commitment to those funeral practices which reflect the sacred simplicity of our teachings concerning death.
Respectfully,
THE BOARD OF RABBIS OF GREATER RHODE ISLAND